This time last year, a friend of mine was telling me about beginning what she called a period of an ‘active practice of gratitude’. She had been reading a work by Dr Brené Brown, a research professor who studies courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. The book in question, The Gifts of Imperfection, demonstrates the science behind using gratitude to enhance empathy, reduce stress, increase happiness and even go some way in overcoming major trauma.

She challenged me to find something to be grateful for every day for a month. As we are now, we were then within the Church’s season of Eastertide and so I was presented with a spiritual opportunity too. Where in my daily path of life did I encounter the “alleluia” of the Resurrection?

What followed was a unique experience of Eastertide. Some days, when visiting friends or going out for dinner, it was easy to be grateful for a stable job, loving relationships and a place to call home. Other days, after a long day at work, and with bills to pay, I was simply grateful for an early night. Other days still, I struggled to find my “alleluia” moment, and relied on others to say it on my behalf.

Reflecting back on the process, what I became most grateful for was the opportunity to experience my relationship with Jesus in a completely different light. I was able to experience the transformative nature of Jesus’ sacrifice for us and His resurrection by being able to see Him there before me every single day. And by being able to experience him, I was able to be thankful ­– to literally shout “alleluia”!

This year, Eastertide and Lent have been different to anything we have ever known. My friend asked again, “alleluia month this year?”, and my only response was “how?”. I felt so alienated from the Risen Lord that I felt so close to last year and I could not possibly imagine what there was to be grateful for in a time of global despair. After all, what was there to be grateful for when I was stuck inside, unable to see my loved ones or go to work?

But of course, the Jesus I met this time last year, in all those praise-worthy ways, is still there. He is there in my health, my ability to still work, my being in a position to be charitable. He is there in my friends who, instead of going out for dinner, we are clapping for as they go out to be key workers and healthcare heroes.

Now, more than ever, we can look to the practice of gratitude, as Dr Brown says, as a way to begin overcoming this major trauma in our lives. For Catholics, there is no doubt that the closure of churches and the inability to be part of the sacrament of the Eucharist is traumatic. It has in places brought out tension and malice on both sides of the church-closure divide. Many of us are forced to be separated from Jesus and we are pained as we wait for the state intervention as to when we can receive him again.

This year, as we approach the end of Eastertide, I am once again reflecting on how gratitude has changed my relationship with the Lord. This year, I have had to get to know Jesus differently; away from the Eucharist, and away from my usual way of life I ask, where is He? The experience of His sacrifice is heightened, through our sacrifice of the celebration of Mass. The experience of His resurrection is proof of his protection over us.

In spite of my parish church being closed, I can still be thankful. I can shout alleluia as I pass by the doors because I know that Jesus remains with me despite the circumstances. I can be grateful for my parish priest who continues to provide spiritual nourishment, for the new ways through which I can engage with Mass with loved-ones across the country, for the knowledge that Bishops are working their hardest to reopen churches in a way that is safe.

As we head towards the feast of the Ascension, we see Jesus showing his disciples the path in which they should walk towards holiness. Jesus is, even now, paving the road we walk with alleluias, whether it is one, socially-distanced walk a day, or (God-willing), the first steps we take back inside our churches.

This Sunday, we gave thanks in the psalm to a God who never leaves us: “Blessed be God who has not turned away my prayer, nor his own faithful love for me.” In this sixth week of Eastertide, find hope and give thanks to a God who is with us in this time of desolation. Look for His faithful love in what feels like nothing and find Him among everything.